Beauty through simplicity;
an efficient traveler of my surroundings,
rejoicing in that which has no expense,
reveling in the thundering silence of nature,
and, once I am done,
I shall have made no impact further than preserving this;
my earthly inheritance & legacy,
for those who shall come hence.
The above was written as I viewed a wonderful, earth-oriented website, Gaiea.
Some Thoughts Before We Go... ©1998, TJL
Confused... no, dazed. Standing there fully amazed, I saw it suspended by a single gossamer thread; silk it seemed, as fine as a single tendril of the down of a dandelion bloom. A shiver running the entire length stopped, yet the tiny bundle at the terminus trembled on, weakened near unto death. Yet another series of vibrations, stronger than before, final in their fury, shook from within the fragile package.
The bundle, quiet now, wrapped within strand upon strand of the inexhaustible and clutching grasp of silken tentacle, moved no more. Contained within that frail mass lay the hopes & dreams of those who would save us all by kindness to our world; the sacred truths that, alone, can insure survival; the legacy of a chance for immortality for our race of all humankind through right ways & thoughts.
Gathering life, it seemed, from within that tender twine, a tiny spark waited. Fascinated, I watched as all colors of the rainbow flashed, glowed, then dimmed, alternating as forces within battled for dominance; those who would keep us alive being damned by those who would sell survival for mere money.
Yet I watch the battle; it is waged daily & takes its toll slowly, inexorably. The color is still there, although I cannot tell whether each succeeding flash is brighter nor any dimmer than the previous. I pray for brighter days.
Closure ©5/98, TJL
One of these days, some time from now,
You'll be deep in some pensive thought.
Perhaps it won't be until then you'll see
What your little dalliance has wrought.
You'll see very quickly the ether of time,
Begin to fold back on itself.
You'll thumb through the volumes of memories of us,
That you've stowed on some dusty back shelf.
I've never wished you heartache,
Nor vengeance to settle my pain.
But it never seemed right as I lay awake nights,
And fought not to cry but in vain.
It hurt so to lay awake wondering,
But too much, I'm afraid, to avoid
Replaying in mind when your spirit was kind
And my feelings as yet lay untoyed.
You told me your life was free enough,
To welcome me in at the time.
But my soul was sorely defrauded,
With no one to answer the crime.
The wonderful things that you woke in my mind
Began to outshadow the real.
You brought them to life before my eyes,
But removed them before I could feel.
So now I'm left to wonder,
and try somehow to regain,
The peace of mind that I'd managed to find,
And you washed away like the rain.
It wasn't the crying that bothered me,
Nor the waiting like fool for the dawn,
It's life's little pieces you took away,
That I notice the most since they've gone.
So I've sealed up my box of memories,
Placed where it no longer shows.
I put it in back of a dusty shelf,
Where the light of day never goes.
I try not to even think about
The things that we used to share,
The curl of your lip in that sultry pout,
The feel and the smell of your hair.
I only think about you now,
When trying to decide
If I should open up my heart,
Or let the damned thing die.
So when you're in that pensive mood,
And wonder what I'm doing now;
I'm doing the best that I possibly can
To get over you somehow.
I hope one day you'll find in life,
Just what you've chosen to seek,
But you'll live with the fact that it's much too late
To hear the love my heart would speak.
Adios ©5/98, TJL
How does one put words to
what one cannot describe?
The cruelty of a love's untruth,
The sear of a burning lie?How do you deal with a pain,
That no one feels but you?
The hard part's to try and regain
What's only a human's due.How do you look in the mirror,
And not have to look away?
I'll deal with the fool you've made of me,
And the snickers that come my way.I hope your life is happier now,
On the path you've taken to.
You wanted a poem, well, this is it;
Straight from me to you.
I'd Give All I Have © 6/98, TJL
I'd give all I have in a minute,
If I could just understand,
The things that come from within it,
That plague so the mind of a man.It reaches us deep inside where
We haven't the guile to defend.
We never quite get a whole story;
After all, we're just stupid men.The murmurs begin oh, so softly,
Then swell to a bellicose roar,
As the din of a tsunami raging,
When it crashes to ground on the shore.Then, out of the broken & twisted,
Stands the subtle remains of a soul.
Unless carefully viewed you could miss it;
It's become quite small, on the whole.For it batters & pounds on your insides,
Where you fear to allow someone pause,
To examine what's truly within you,
And see through that thin veil of gauze.I suppose I would fare better often,
If I'd put up a stronger defense.
Perhaps I should not be so hasty,
To lay down my own common sense.I have it, I know, to protect me,
From letting me kill myself off,
By leaving me open to being rejected
By those who would think me no loss.But as well as I know to avoid it,
I neither wish to nor can.
I'd give all I have in a minute,
If I could just understand.
The Cost of Loneliness
© 10/98,TJLThere's a tortured time of morning,
That comes to those alone.
It's just before the dawning,
When dreams have all but flown.No midnight conversations,
'Tween lovers in the night,
To calm a partner's troubled mind,
To ease a horrid fright.There's no one there to talk to,
And no one to confide,
No sleep to take the hurt away,
No dream in which to fly.There is no touch, nor sweet caress,
From a dozing lover there.
There isn't the sight of a love undressed,
Nor the touch of her silken hair.But for the lucky and the few,
There lays a golden light;
A peaceful dreamer laying there,
To share such times of night.A gentle touch, a whisper,
A face devoid of guile,
The candle's glow reclines upon
Her half-light wisp of smile.Soft words of love; some spoken,
Some sent by tender kiss,
All promise lay unbroken,
As is the lovers' bliss.